I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize