you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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