I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
