My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
did you just send me my own nude
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
