i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
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