the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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