I just saw a hot homeless man
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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