just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
