ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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