If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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