Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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