3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize