Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Enjoy the penises
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
