i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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