I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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