What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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