i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
