I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
