i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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