im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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