So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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