I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
