I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
