I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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