You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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