I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
