So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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