So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
