i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
