what day is it and did you see me today?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
