absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
