I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
