We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
soo... how was my night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
