You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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