Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
pop tarts are not kleenex
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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