I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
