she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
