i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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