hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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