sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
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Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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