dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
