If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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