You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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