well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
