talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
