We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
