Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
