I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
