2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this will be a night to untag.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
