I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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