i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize