I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
