just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize