Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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