No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
