just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
