I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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