..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
