So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
