she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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